Wellesley College

Learn from my mistakes! When you go out into that wide, wide world, I want you to ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Very few things will be handed to you. You ASK FOR THAT INTERNSHIP, you ASK FOR THAT JOB.

I do hope you’ll give back to this fine institution, if you can. When I say give back, I don’t necessarily mean money. I mean, take care of each other. Help a Wellesley classmate. When you get older, maybe you can arrange for an internship.

But for right now, what can you do? Post something nice on a friend’s Facebook page. Be a good friend. What’s the fun of going through life alone?

I used to get offered shows at different comedy clubs and country clubs. I did them for a while. Then I asked if I could bring a friend. Sometimes someone below me, sometimes someone above. (Don’t bring too many above. They make you look bad.) But I always said that when I do a show and it’s just me, it’s just a show. When I bring a friend, it’s a memory. Help other people and they will help you. Also help other people just because it feels good.

The only time you fail is when you quit. I was on NBC’s Last Comic Standing. I tried out for this show four times. I slept in my car overnight to get the audition. You have to really want it.

So these are my three points: Give back. Don’t give up. Love.